Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
