I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
