Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
love makes seman taste better
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
