My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
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Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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