Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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