she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
