I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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