I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i need some magic done to my vagina
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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