do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
