dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
