I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
