I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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