Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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