So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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