you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
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Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
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I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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