do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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