He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize