I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize