oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
