it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize