I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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