i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize