just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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