Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My penis needs a shock collar
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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