defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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