At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
