how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
