We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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