I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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