just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"