Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.

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  (512): I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone. http://tfl.nu/t7gq
  Replies (19) Good night (1146) Bad night (3115)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.

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  (508): Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/jn2c
  Replies (12) Good night (721) Bad night (3990)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen

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  (919): i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen http://tfl.nu/az2y
  Replies (29) Good night (5306) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.

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  (813): I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month. http://tfl.nu/259p
  Replies (20) Good night (616) Bad night (5023)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you

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  (207): so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you http://tfl.nu/yn2g
  Replies (9) Good night (4460) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Some one left their pants in the elevator.

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  (617): Some one left their pants in the elevator. http://tfl.nu/4aog
  Replies (7) Good night (4253) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.

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  (602): Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world. http://tfl.nu/6f3f
  Replies (53) Good night (1334) Bad night (8084)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were

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  (727): they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were http://tfl.nu/gg4c
  Replies (5) Good night (2455) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.

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  (618): some guy just burried his vomit in the sand. http://tfl.nu/hqvi
  Replies (7) Good night (1255) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Stop whining I left you with whiskey

  (224): View more from Illinois

  YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.

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  (224): Stop whining I left you with whiskey (1-224): YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE. http://tfl.nu/439l
  Replies (6) Good night (2064) Bad night (675)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well for starters, her tits were hairy.

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  (541): Well for starters, her tits were hairy. http://tfl.nu/wo8e
  Replies (26) Good night (443) Bad night (3164)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.

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  (978): Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on. http://tfl.nu/i5sb
  Replies (2) Good night (914) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.

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  (919): Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka. http://tfl.nu/j4b1
  Replies (4) Good night (566) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Thats your rule and this car is nice

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  (775): You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule (1-775): Thats your rule and this car is nice http://tfl.nu/6eo6
  Replies (1) Good night (585) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.

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  (914): It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back. http://tfl.nu/4sgh
  Replies (1) Good night (161) Bad night (557)

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