Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

You really coming over, don't trick.

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(315): View more from New York

a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"

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(937): View more from Ohio

You went to church with your boobs hanging out?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.

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(630): View more from Illinois

You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(920): View more from Wisconsin

what do i owe you?

(1-920): View more from Wisconsin

$237.46 to be exact.

(920): View more from Wisconsin

if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.

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(817): View more from Texas

The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...

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