her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
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and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
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if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.