I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize