I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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