i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't deserve a penis
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Randomize
