sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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