Dual....:-)
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
