evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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