hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
