I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
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Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
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If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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