My brain says no but my pants say off.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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