Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
