oh god the rape fog is back!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
