I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
