well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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