So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
