I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
