The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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