so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
