he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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