things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
