the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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