If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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