hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
