God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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