I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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