Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
