I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
