He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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