Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
