Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
