Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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