What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
