Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
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just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
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It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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