I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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