And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
