I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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