im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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